Koloa Hawaiian Mai Tai Cocktail

We spent the day at the Polynesian Cultural Center in northeastern Oahu. The center did not serve alcohol in a supposed effort to honor the Pacific Islander tradition, though we believe the true reason has more to do with the fact that they are funded by the Mormon Church. Regardless, I was unable to purchase a Mai Tai.

We did not feel like going to a bar once we were back in Waikiki. However, I was still able to have my daily Mai Tai thanks to Kauai's own Koloa Distillery. The ABC store at the base of our tower sells the ready-to-drink Koloa Hawaiian Mai Tai Cocktail. A quick stop by the ice machine and I was all set.

The first thing I noticed while pouring the drink was that it let off a grossly strong sweet aroma that curiously resembled Hawaiian Punch. Upon drinking, the Mai Tai was distinctly harsh, leaving a strongly alcoholic aftertaste, despite being as sweet as a breakfast syrup. The mix tasted as artificial as its bright yellow color would indicate. There was no hint of any actual fruit juices or other real ingredients being present. Other than the thick syrup, the flavor of which more closely resembled tat of Kool Aid than of an actual Mai Tai, the most noticeable and lasting aspect was the rum. The quality of the rum was good enough, had it been mixed with the appropriate ingredients, but, in this drink, did not leave a pleasant aftertaste. This drink is to a Mai Tai what a Hungry Man is to a home cooked ribeye steak dinner.

2/10

 Ellie's Corner:

The Polynesian Center was amazing, with a river canoe island dances pageant, fire dancers, coconut frond weaving, and a luau. The only thing it was missing was the alcohol. But for me, unlike the reviewer on TripAdvisor who said "no alcohol, no fun!", it was not a necessity. Our virgin drinks inside a coconut and a pineapple were just fiiiine. The Koloa Rum bottle was seriously just like a small bottle of rummy drink mix. Today I saw a tiny fruit stand with a hand-painted sign with a poke ball that read "Come Catch Some Shave Ice."